I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.

Today is my last day of work. I don't know what's next, but I am excited for the adventure to come!

In the meantime, I am wishing the Happiest of Holidays to all of my friends and family! Thank you for your unending love and support.

Happy Winter!

The winter solstice is one of my favorite days of the year, and each year I try to make a special acknowledgement of this day. To celebrate this year, I participated in Namaspa's Winter Solstice 108 Sun Salutation practice. The class cost $20, and all proceeds went to the Bethlehem Inn, a shelter for homeless men, women and families in Central Oregon. Last night, the yogis at Namaspa raised $450 for Bethlehem Inn! Yay!

Why the number 108? 108 has significant meaning across many religions/cultures. For instance, there are 108 beads on a mala (prayer necklace used by Hindus and Buddhists). In mathematics, 1 to the first power = 1, 2 squared = 4, and 3 cubed = 27. 1 x 4 x 27 = 108. The diameter of the Sun is 108 times the diameter of the Earth. The distance from the Sun to the Earth is 108 times the diameter of the Sun. The average distance of the Moon from the Earth is 108 times the diameter of the Moon. Fascinating! Here is a link to learn more about the meaning of 108 if you're interested: http://swamij.com/108.htm

So what does 108 sun salutations entail? Well, the class formed in a circle, all facing inward, like the shape of the sun. We did four sets of 27 sun salutations, with a short break in between each set to hydrate or rest. Each set was dedicated to a specific intention, so that we made each movement, each breath in and out, with that intention in mind. Powerful, huh?! The first set was dedicated to the individual, each of us personally. The second set was dedicated to family and close friends, the third to the earth, the fourth to the Universe/God.

Before each set, the instructor read a poem or prayer and talked about the general subject of that set's dedication, and then we went around the room and everyone said, "My name is ______, and I dedicate this round to ______." The dedications included everything from love, healing, forgiveness, and patience, to the children at the Bethlehem Inn, appreciation for our natural resources, and wisdom for leaders of nations at war. Then we began, from a standing position. For those who don't know what a sun salutation is: from standing position, we bend forward, then straighten our backs (while still bending), then step back into a plank, low pushup, upward facing dog, downward facing dog, two deep breaths, step forward, straighten backs, bend forward, then stand up and lift arms and face to the sky. Each movement was made to the rhythm of inhale and exhale. It was amazing! We did the final set with the lights out and the only sound was that of a large group of people breathing in an out rhythmically, in sync. Check out Namaspa's Facebook page, there's a short video that will give you an idea! 

Of course I can't convey the depth of energy that I felt at this class. However, I can say that it was a fantastic night with friends, and I was honored to share this powerful experience with such an incredibly inspiring community of people.

Lessons from 27

"The only point of clocks and maps, the only point of looking back, is to see how far we've come" - Dawes

In the downtime between my 28th birthday and the rapidly approaching holidays, I am taking some time to look back and reflect on the past year of my life. I must say, it's been an adventure, filled with love and learning (as Josh Ritter says, "All that love, all those mistakes/What else can a poor man make?").

So, here we go, a year in review. I learned to climb over the past year, beginning last November. Through climbing, I've met some people who are incredibly inspiring, humble, and kind. I've found yet another avenue in which I can push myself, both mentally and physically, beyond my anticipated limits. I also fell in love. Hmm, what to say about that? I basically have no sad memories from November until April of last year. Not long after that, I stopped looking for jobs in Portland and started feeling happier and more settled in Central Oregon. I ticked off a few firsts last winter: an adventurous road trip to the Olympic National Park and a road trip to the Redwoods and Yosemite, where Ryan and I snowshoed/backpacked/broke trail up above Nevada Falls and camped in the shadow of Half Dome. Yosemite is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, and I only got a glimpse. It was a brutally cold night of camping, but it was worth it to get away from the valley floor and the silly Californians that were driving on dry pavement with chains on their tires.

snow camping

In April, I twisted my knee on a climbing fall. Life was confined to crutches and a knee brace for a few weeks, and it threw a wrench in my training and took a toll on my mental health.  My roommate always seemed to have a pile of hippie friends passed out on the living room floor, and after tiring of trying to navigate the hippie pile on crutches morning after morning, I decided it was time to move out. I moved in with Katy in May, and I gained a great friend and training partner. Also around that time, I got dumped. Yeah, um, heart broken. I think I spent the month of May crying. I'm sure I did other things, too, but I can't remember, just like I can't remember any sadness from the 6 months prior. Luckily, however, I was able to shed the knee brace and get moving again. I asked my doctor, who I carefully chose based on the fact that he's an athlete and extremely attractive, whether I would still be able to do a half iron man at the end of June. He said he thought I could do it, but to listen to my body and continue wearing my knee brace. Ease back into it, he said, and don't run yet. Well, two days after that visit, I went running. I never looked back. 

I picked up my pieces and poured myself into training, and I leaned heavily on my friends and family. I laugh now when I think about that time Dee and I went out to dinner and we both cried into our Thai food for....multiple hours. I think we frightened the waiter. But we rallied, and the next day we hiked to the marsupials, where I led my first climb! Then we scooted on our butts down that ridiculous scree pile of a trail, filling our shoes up with dirt and gravel. I am laughing now as I think about that day. Those crazy Mazamas that kept rapping down from....where the hell were they coming from?! Anyway, Dee got me leading climbs. And Katy taught me how to clean the anchors and how fun it is to climb with girl friends. And I realized that although I lost my climbing partner, I had not lost climbing. 

June flew by and it was time for my half iron man. I felt inadequately trained and tremendously unprepared, but I just kept telling myself, "You're just going for a swim. Then a beautiful bike ride. Then a nice, long run." Well, the swim was fun and fast, and the bike ride was beautiful. I loved the refreshing blast of air conditioning that I felt when the course reached an elevation where the snow drifts along the road towered several feet overhead. The run was a bit grueling, but I survived with the help of Katy, who ran the first mile with me, and Brian,who was cheering me on at the transitions and was waiting with a hug at the finish. I had a great time at that race, so much fun. The only downside of that day is that I got the worst sunburn of my life. Over the weeks following the race, the skin on my back blistered and peeled off in sheets. So gross. I still have pretty stark tan lines, and I am beginning to doubt that they will fade before next triathlon season.

Something else amazing happened as I focused on being healthy and happy this summer. I started spending more and more time with Brian, and I fell in love once again. Brian is possibly the most patient, loving person I know. After spending most of July getting to know each other, he definitely had me at: "Yes, I would love wear neon spandex and bike the rim of Crater Lake and then climb Mt. Thielsen with you." I think that weekend was my favorite of the summer year.

Handstands at Cloud Cap

I was fortunate to be able to see my family a lot this summer and fall. First, we had the family reunion on my mom's side, along the north shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota. It was absolutely beautiful, and we spent several days canoeing, hiking, riding bikes, and sitting around a bonfire on the beach. Then, my sister Melissa and her boyfriend Ben got married (on a boat!) in New York City in August. In fact, their wedding was the night before Hurricane Irene slammed into the northeast, so the ominous weather forecast added to the adventure and excitement of the weekend. Melissa came to visit me in Bend in October, and I think we hiked and ran about 45 miles in 5 days, sampled most of Bend's beer, visited Crater Lake and the soaking pool at McMenamins. It was perfect! Just a few weeks after Melissa's west coast visit, I was back in the Big Apple for the NYC marathon. Melissa surprised me with a custom-designed running shirt and tattoo sleeve arm warmers. Friends, family and coworkers helped me to raise over $2,600.00 for my charity, Team for Kids, which added special meaning to the race. After a summer that included 5 triathlons and a half marathon, I felt like I was in the best endurance shape of my life, which was an amazing feeling to have! The NYC marathon was an incredible experience, with over 47,000 racers and wall to wall spectators for all 26.2 miles. We saw friends and family at mile 8.5 and at the finish, and although we both had some ups and downs, Melissa and I crossed the finish line together, holding hands, with our arms in the air and smiles on our faces.

Melissa and me after the race.

A few days before I left for the marathon, my bosses let me know that I was getting laid off at the end of the year. Business has just been too slow this year, and the economy doesn't seem to be picking up. Carl and Nancy were kind enough to give me as much notice as possible so that I could start looking for work, and they wanted to tell me the news before I was going to see my family so that I would have that support. I was in shock for a few days, but when I thought about it, I knew that business had been slow, so it made sense that I had to go. Although my days at work are now winding to a close and I still haven't found work, I feel confident that it's going to work out for the best. This is just another one of life's hurdles and there are lessons to be learned and growth and opportunity to be had if I am keeping my heart and mind open. I will survive and likely be better off when it's all said and done. 


What have I learned this year? There is a lesson to be found in all experiences. Sometimes life blindsides you and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't predict or control. You have to let go and ride the wave and allow the people who love you to be your life raft. Remaining in the present moment reduces the drama, stress and anxiety that come when you allow your mind to spin stories, and being present also increases your awareness, appreciation and happiness. Healing occurs through equal parts love and forgiveness. Incredible friendships blossom when you open yourself up and let people in. If you are true to yourself, and if you continue to emanate love, good things will happen. Finally, we are capable of so much more than we think we are.

I think those are some pretty good thoughts to take away from 2011. Right now, 2012 is pretty much a blank slate. I am not afraid, rather, I am excited for the adventure of the unknown. And if it's anything like this past year, it will be full of love and growth.

Here's to Friends and Pushing the Limits

Dee and me after my first lead climb last May :)

Dee is psyched after her scary lead with a ridiculously high (even for Smith) first bolt.

Yesterday I went climbing with Dee. I'm so happy to be climbing more consistently again, after a 3-month summer hiatus followed by a mental block that ended in tears mid-climb on a couple occasions. After a rough re-introduction to climbing, I took a few more weeks off and then re-approached the crag with an open mind and zero expectations. And I did just fine! Now the mental block is gone, and I seem to have picked up where I left off last June, both physically and mentally. I have really been enjoying climbing with Dee recently. She is the first person who encouraged me to start leading climbs, and now she knows I will try hard to lead anything, whether or not I can make it all the way to the anchors! :) In this way, we push each other and get psyched for each other's mini-victories, like Dee overcoming an extremely high first bolt yesterday and my success on a route that I was pretty sure I couldn't do. Of course, that is just one of climbing's constant lessons --- our mental limitations are often much lower than our physical limitations. Dee, thank you for reminding me of this, being a great climbing partner and an even better friend!  

Me following.

Dee and me playing hard on a sunny December day.

In other news, I have been getting back in the pool lately. Between feeling burned out at the end of triathlon season, and not having much time for anything other than running in the weeks leading up to the NYC marathon, I avoided the pool and got totally out of shape! My shoulders and triceps have been screaming in the pool, but it feels great, and I know I will get my conditioning back. To accelerate this process, my dad and I have challenged each other to swim 50k in the month of January. Yes, that's 50,000 meters. Never one to back down from a challenge, my dad upped the ante by wagering a latte for the first one to reach 50k. I've decided to set a goal to get my 50k done by January 11th (in 10 days, since Juniper is closed on January 1). But shhhh, don't tell my dad! I'm not telling him my strategy until I can safely demand a latte. Muahahaha.

Things that Matter

It's stories like this one, which I heard on NPR the other night, that make me so frustrated that I find myself shaking my fist at the radio and shouting back comments on my drive home from work. 

I have been following the Marcellus shale/hydraulic fracturing ("fracking") issue as it has developed in Pennsylvania. Many states in the surrounding region as well as across the nation (Colorado and Wyoming for example) are also dealing with the gold rush to drill the natural gas wells contained in Marcellus shale, but since Pennsylvania is my home state, my ears perk when I hear it named on the news. 

For those unfamiliar with the topic, Marcellus shale contains natural gas, which gas companies can break through and access via "fracking," where they blast water and other chemicals at such a high force so as to break through the shale and extract the natural gas.  This process results in a lot of really polluted water that is often going into local streams and groundwater. Gross. And really frightening. And that's my biggest beef with this whole thing.


Among the many issues arising with the rapid development of Marcellus shale drilling is how to regulate it. In Pennsylvania, municipalities have been regulating it (or banning it - yay, Pittsburgh!) through their local zoning laws. The result is that each municipality gets to control fracking in its community. Natural gas companies don't like this; they prefer a statewide permitting and regulating process (preferably a weak and cheap one, written by legislators and backed by a governor who supports their industry) that will make it easier for them to put up drills all over the state. Now Pennsylvania is considering legislation that will create statewide "guidelines" for what local governments can and can't regulate (see HB 1950 and SB 1100 if interested). So the debate ensues. 


A couple of points that got me shaking my fist: 

(1) First of all, the term "guidelines" as opposed to "rules" sends shivers down my back. It sounds like a rubber stamp or at the very best, suggestions without consequences. 

(2) The new legislation would REQUIRE local gov­ern­ments to allow nat­ural gas wells to oper­ate in all zones, includ­ing res­i­den­tial. WTF?!? Residential?! Who wants that giant drill, the noise and disturbance in their neighborhood, let alone drinking water that literally catches on fire? Gross. Oh, and why is it okay to  override local zoning laws?


(3) Okay, here's the next thing: One pro-drilling lady argued, "If I live in a residential area, don't I have a right to lease my natural gas?" 

Blah, blah, private property argument. I get it. It's my property and I should get to do with it as I please. But here's the thing: it's not okay for you to do whatever you want on your property if you're destroying the drinking water of your neighbors. As well as local waterways. 

(4) Gov. Corbett says allowing municipalities to regulate (or ban) drilling is going to kill job creators. I am so fucking sick of that argument. Is that the only argument Republicans can make on every issue? If you're against us, then you're killing the job creators. UGH. It's bullshit, and it's fear mongering, and I don't buy it. Along similar lines, so-and-so from the Marcellus Shale Coalition says if Pennsylvania makes it too difficult to drill there, then fine, they'll just take their drills to Ohio. Bullshit. As long as there is natural gas in Pennsylvania, someone will want to drill it. We're not going to kill job creators by taking the time to form comprehensive, thoughtful legislation to regulate this industry and control the significant damage to our waterways, health and environment.

Also, side note, many municipalities in PA are in financial trouble (ah hem, Harrisburg, which filed for bankruptcy a few weeks ago) --- so passing a law restricting their ability to regulate fracking, and if they overstep their restrictions, withholding revenue received for each well drilled seems, at the very least, counter-productive. 


I'm not saying there should not be statewide regulations of the Marcellus. But there's got to be a better method to go about this. Strong-arming municipalities and the rest of the public is not the way.