Release

It's amazing how easy endurance workouts are when you have a lot on your mind. I have come to rely on some of my favorite activities - particularly running, swimming, and yoga - when I feel life's stresses beginning to close in.

Time and time again, I have found clarity while running, especially on wooded trails. Having that moment of realization that yes, everything will actually be OK, literally leaves both my mind and body feeling weightless and free. In those times, I find myself running faster with more energy and a huge smile stretching across my face. It is a feeling of true bliss.

I always seem to find peace of mind in Shevlin Park.

A couple days ago, my mind was feeling heavy, and I was trying to sort out my thoughts by writing a letter. I found myself getting emotional, confused, and overwhelmed. So, I shut down my laptop and headed for the pool. The 50 meter pool was open, which always makes me happy, possibly because I can stretch out without having to do so many flip turns. I jumped in and just started counting my 100s, and before I knew it, I swam for 2,100 meters and 30 minutes straight. I wasn't even tired. I just took a break because I was thirsty, and then I kept on going.

I don't think my life is particularly stressful. Of course I have problems and obstacles and challenges, just like anyone else. For the past several months, my life has been in a constant state of flux, and I have felt less grounded than I ever have before. However, even this, I have learned to accept. I know that eventually I will find solid ground again, and for the time being, it's okay to let go and "go with the flow."

As we are reminded in yoga practice, everything we know is based on our past experience. Therefore, it is common for fears to rise up when we encounter something unfamiliar, whether it is going into a headstand or being unemployed, crashing on your cousin's air mattress, and ending a relationship. The gut instinct often tells us to retreat, as quickly as possible, back into familiar patterns and territory. But that doesn't create growth. Growth occurs when we dig in and push through our fear, trusting ourselves, and trusting that everything is going to be okay. 

I am so grateful to my mind and body for being able to find release and clarity in exercise. I think that when I push my body, these matters weighing on my mind rise up and must be released just like any other energy. Sometimes it's painful - I have found myself in tears mid-run. But, you know what? If you can do a 10 mile run and cry for the first 5 miles, then you're going to be tougher after that. I certainly felt a lot stronger, physically and emotionally, after that release. 

My pink Vibrams after a muddy trail run.

Of course, I don't always find clear answers to all my problems just by going for a run or a swim. Problem solving is not so simple. What I have found, however, is that often the answers are already there in your heart, and if you run, bike, swim, etc....hard enough to make your brain stop its never-ending dialogue (or diatribe), then you can hear the voice coming from your heart. That's when you know it's all going to be okay.