Lessons from 27

"The only point of clocks and maps, the only point of looking back, is to see how far we've come" - Dawes

In the downtime between my 28th birthday and the rapidly approaching holidays, I am taking some time to look back and reflect on the past year of my life. I must say, it's been an adventure, filled with love and learning (as Josh Ritter says, "All that love, all those mistakes/What else can a poor man make?").

So, here we go, a year in review. I learned to climb over the past year, beginning last November. Through climbing, I've met some people who are incredibly inspiring, humble, and kind. I've found yet another avenue in which I can push myself, both mentally and physically, beyond my anticipated limits. I also fell in love. Hmm, what to say about that? I basically have no sad memories from November until April of last year. Not long after that, I stopped looking for jobs in Portland and started feeling happier and more settled in Central Oregon. I ticked off a few firsts last winter: an adventurous road trip to the Olympic National Park and a road trip to the Redwoods and Yosemite, where Ryan and I snowshoed/backpacked/broke trail up above Nevada Falls and camped in the shadow of Half Dome. Yosemite is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, and I only got a glimpse. It was a brutally cold night of camping, but it was worth it to get away from the valley floor and the silly Californians that were driving on dry pavement with chains on their tires.

snow camping

In April, I twisted my knee on a climbing fall. Life was confined to crutches and a knee brace for a few weeks, and it threw a wrench in my training and took a toll on my mental health.  My roommate always seemed to have a pile of hippie friends passed out on the living room floor, and after tiring of trying to navigate the hippie pile on crutches morning after morning, I decided it was time to move out. I moved in with Katy in May, and I gained a great friend and training partner. Also around that time, I got dumped. Yeah, um, heart broken. I think I spent the month of May crying. I'm sure I did other things, too, but I can't remember, just like I can't remember any sadness from the 6 months prior. Luckily, however, I was able to shed the knee brace and get moving again. I asked my doctor, who I carefully chose based on the fact that he's an athlete and extremely attractive, whether I would still be able to do a half iron man at the end of June. He said he thought I could do it, but to listen to my body and continue wearing my knee brace. Ease back into it, he said, and don't run yet. Well, two days after that visit, I went running. I never looked back. 

I picked up my pieces and poured myself into training, and I leaned heavily on my friends and family. I laugh now when I think about that time Dee and I went out to dinner and we both cried into our Thai food for....multiple hours. I think we frightened the waiter. But we rallied, and the next day we hiked to the marsupials, where I led my first climb! Then we scooted on our butts down that ridiculous scree pile of a trail, filling our shoes up with dirt and gravel. I am laughing now as I think about that day. Those crazy Mazamas that kept rapping down from....where the hell were they coming from?! Anyway, Dee got me leading climbs. And Katy taught me how to clean the anchors and how fun it is to climb with girl friends. And I realized that although I lost my climbing partner, I had not lost climbing. 

June flew by and it was time for my half iron man. I felt inadequately trained and tremendously unprepared, but I just kept telling myself, "You're just going for a swim. Then a beautiful bike ride. Then a nice, long run." Well, the swim was fun and fast, and the bike ride was beautiful. I loved the refreshing blast of air conditioning that I felt when the course reached an elevation where the snow drifts along the road towered several feet overhead. The run was a bit grueling, but I survived with the help of Katy, who ran the first mile with me, and Brian,who was cheering me on at the transitions and was waiting with a hug at the finish. I had a great time at that race, so much fun. The only downside of that day is that I got the worst sunburn of my life. Over the weeks following the race, the skin on my back blistered and peeled off in sheets. So gross. I still have pretty stark tan lines, and I am beginning to doubt that they will fade before next triathlon season.

Something else amazing happened as I focused on being healthy and happy this summer. I started spending more and more time with Brian, and I fell in love once again. Brian is possibly the most patient, loving person I know. After spending most of July getting to know each other, he definitely had me at: "Yes, I would love wear neon spandex and bike the rim of Crater Lake and then climb Mt. Thielsen with you." I think that weekend was my favorite of the summer year.

Handstands at Cloud Cap

I was fortunate to be able to see my family a lot this summer and fall. First, we had the family reunion on my mom's side, along the north shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota. It was absolutely beautiful, and we spent several days canoeing, hiking, riding bikes, and sitting around a bonfire on the beach. Then, my sister Melissa and her boyfriend Ben got married (on a boat!) in New York City in August. In fact, their wedding was the night before Hurricane Irene slammed into the northeast, so the ominous weather forecast added to the adventure and excitement of the weekend. Melissa came to visit me in Bend in October, and I think we hiked and ran about 45 miles in 5 days, sampled most of Bend's beer, visited Crater Lake and the soaking pool at McMenamins. It was perfect! Just a few weeks after Melissa's west coast visit, I was back in the Big Apple for the NYC marathon. Melissa surprised me with a custom-designed running shirt and tattoo sleeve arm warmers. Friends, family and coworkers helped me to raise over $2,600.00 for my charity, Team for Kids, which added special meaning to the race. After a summer that included 5 triathlons and a half marathon, I felt like I was in the best endurance shape of my life, which was an amazing feeling to have! The NYC marathon was an incredible experience, with over 47,000 racers and wall to wall spectators for all 26.2 miles. We saw friends and family at mile 8.5 and at the finish, and although we both had some ups and downs, Melissa and I crossed the finish line together, holding hands, with our arms in the air and smiles on our faces.

Melissa and me after the race.

A few days before I left for the marathon, my bosses let me know that I was getting laid off at the end of the year. Business has just been too slow this year, and the economy doesn't seem to be picking up. Carl and Nancy were kind enough to give me as much notice as possible so that I could start looking for work, and they wanted to tell me the news before I was going to see my family so that I would have that support. I was in shock for a few days, but when I thought about it, I knew that business had been slow, so it made sense that I had to go. Although my days at work are now winding to a close and I still haven't found work, I feel confident that it's going to work out for the best. This is just another one of life's hurdles and there are lessons to be learned and growth and opportunity to be had if I am keeping my heart and mind open. I will survive and likely be better off when it's all said and done. 


What have I learned this year? There is a lesson to be found in all experiences. Sometimes life blindsides you and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't predict or control. You have to let go and ride the wave and allow the people who love you to be your life raft. Remaining in the present moment reduces the drama, stress and anxiety that come when you allow your mind to spin stories, and being present also increases your awareness, appreciation and happiness. Healing occurs through equal parts love and forgiveness. Incredible friendships blossom when you open yourself up and let people in. If you are true to yourself, and if you continue to emanate love, good things will happen. Finally, we are capable of so much more than we think we are.

I think those are some pretty good thoughts to take away from 2011. Right now, 2012 is pretty much a blank slate. I am not afraid, rather, I am excited for the adventure of the unknown. And if it's anything like this past year, it will be full of love and growth.